a hiccup follows yesterday’s milestone, please pray

After trying out scenarios for the closing/goodbye visit (i.e. will bio mom announce her pregnancy, will bio gma and great gma say they will see the kiddos again when they are 18… I pray these conversations do not happen), it dawned on me that having the adoption hearing in the old town is totally not a good idea.

A week from today we will visit the old town with our kiddos for the bio parents (bio dad first at 11AM and bio mom, maternal gma and great gma at noon) to announce the decision they’ve made, to announce my husband and I will be adopting the children, and for our kiddos to say farewell to their bio family.

It doesn’t quite make sense to force our kiddos to visit the old town again in a few weeks to celebrate their adoption with my husband, me, a social worker they have seen monthly for the past 3 years and the elderly foster family they lived with for a month.  Especially after such a traumatic memory just occurred (the goodbye visit) in the same small town.

The play therapist has been out for a few weeks dealing with a family death.  In trying to be sensitive to her needs, I’ve muted my communication until she reached out a few days ago.  In the text thread I told her I was having second thoughts about the location of the adoption hearing.  She said she wouldn’t be able to talk until this coming week.

Now… you might be thinking to yourself… Marcy… just be patient.  I can do that, but time is of the essence when you’re trying to get on the docket to finalize an adoption.  In other words, the sooner the adoption petition can be filed in our town the sooner we can get a spot for the adoption hearing on the judge’s docket.  The longer it takes the later in the year the hearing will be held.

So… yesterday I called our adoption lawyer and left him a message about my second thoughts and that I was trying to go about having the adoption hearing in our town.  He called back within an hour (pretty awesome as our conversations are normally one-way and include me leaving him voicemail updates).  He left me a message saying that he called the old town court clerk and they don’t have any issue transferring the case.  He said all we need to do is have the Children’s Division request the transfer.

Easy, right? This week will tell.  We need the therapist to make this request of the Children’s Division.

Please join us in praying that while the previous thought was that it will bring closure – especially for big brother – to have the adoption hearing in the old town… that having the hearing in the town where big brother and little sister have resided for the past year will create a more positive experience for our children.  Please pray for the therapist to change her mind and advocate for this change.  I have this vision of friends, family, medical providers, teachers, and everyone who has been part of this journey being present to celebrate both at the courthouse and at a wild and fun party afterwards.

published 6/20/2015

Published by MarcyBursac

Marcy is an adoptive mom of a sibling pair. Adoption was her Plan A. While remote schooling her children during the pandemic, Marcy felt compassion for the remaining 120,000 U.S. children who are waiting in foster care to be adopted. Wanting to share that foster care adoption is the most affordable way to adopt with a financial cost of $0-$2,500, she wrote a book and started a podcast both called "The Forgotten Adoption Option" to find more forever families.

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