As we continue to fill out paperwork (at each medical appointment … children in care have a special form that gets to get completed by the medical provider and then I get to send it in – via email – to the social worker… every. single. time. a kiddo is sick or has a wellness/vision/dental exam), participate in weekly play therapy with big brother and little sister, and write the team an email about what the kids are up to every few weeks, we’ve been told time and time again that my husband and I are a diamond in the rough.
At first, I took this as a compliment. It must be so cool that we are on top of our paperwork requirements, that we don’t need reminders to get any checklist done, and that we are educated and resourced enough to ask questions.
This past month as these words have repeated from various environments it hit me like a brick that this actually isn’t a compliment. Being competent, loving and in the game for the right reasons should be assumed. But it’s not. Folks, this is total injustice to the children who are in care now, were in care before, and will be in the future. Every kid deserves to be in a safe and loving environment where they will be cherished.
So why then are people like my husband and I so rare?
I mean, there are a lot of people who care out there.
People who want to expand their family size by adding children.
People who have the means to provide for themselves and a kid or two or three.
So what is it then that holds people back?
I’m calling for a revolution on the definition of “family”. By blood or by love, people can form bonds and care for each other.
The 20 to 30-something generation is one of the most educated yet one also with the smallest family size.
I strongly believe that electing to adopt and/or foster child(ren) that are not babies should be more common.
On the timeline end, we got some updates and delays today. (no surprise)
The closing // goodbye visit has been moved to June 27th.
The adoption hearing is projected to occur in August or even September.
My emotions are stuck. I know I need to be patient. Yet … a large part of my heart is screaming. Screaming that the system that we are forced to walk in is slow and rigid. I feel like the other 90% of my life has rules that are more guidelines. That dreams are limitless. But for some reason the final steps that I have been educated on are steps that can only be followed in a certain sequence… even though our lawyer says they don’t.
In closing, picture the last page of The Giving Tree. Here I am sitting on a tree stump just waiting.