why we said “no” to the potential of a half sibling

When you express interest in adopting a sibling set, sooner or later someone asks you … “So if the bio parent(s) has another child(ten) would you be willing to be a resource?”

My husband and I digested this question last spring and at the time our answer was, “We’d be willing to discuss it.”  At the time we imagined this question to come years… several years… down the road.

In reality, this question actually arose in January… just two months ago… as we learned that first mom is pregnant.  The dad isn’t first dad.

A variety of thoughts floated in my mind…

“Where would the baby sleep?”

“Since the baby has a different dad there is a chance his/her biological father would get custody sooner or later.  How would Big Brother and Little Sister stomach that?”

After looking at the situation from Big Brother’s and Little Sister’s perspective we decided having the baby in our home is not in their best interest.  Big Brother and Little Sister have already gone through so much trauma and change.  Having a half sibling baby in our home could potentially bring more pain.

In the spirit of wanting this precious baby to break generational cycles, we contacted some friends.  Two families, actually, who are willing to be a foster/adoptive resource to the baby if needed.  Both families are local so our thought is at least Big Brother and Little Sister could potentially live in the same community as their half sibling.

Please pray for this child.  This precious child who had no choice on the environment it will be born into… likely while first mom is in prison.  Pray for the pregnancy to be safe, for first mom to make a good choice for her baby’s future, and for family that will raise this child.

published 3/15/2015

Published by MarcyBursac

Marcy is an adoptive mom of a sibling pair. Adoption was her Plan A. While remote schooling her children during the pandemic, Marcy felt compassion for the remaining 120,000 U.S. children who are waiting in foster care to be adopted. Wanting to share that foster care adoption is the most affordable way to adopt with a financial cost of $0-$2,500, she wrote a book and started a podcast both called "The Forgotten Adoption Option" to find more forever families.

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