In the past week, we started reading a kids’ devotional at breakfast.
Yesterday morning the word was “born”.
I hadn’t read beyond the word of the day so I wasn’t sure where this was going. One of the realities of being a foster mom is I didn’t physically give birth to the children. This is a sensitive issue to me not because I struggle with infertility – because I don’t – but because it’s a constant reminder that there is another mom in the story. A mom that I try to talk about with kind terms even though her choices have left scars on the children I cannot take away.
I continued reading aloud to the children about how God knew their hair color and eye color before they were born.
Big brother: How do babies get out of their mommy’s belly?
Me: (long pause to decide what is appropriate to say) The mommy pushes it out.
Little sister: She poops the baby out?
Me: Not exactly. (Pause while searching for the right words.)
My thought process: We had decided early on to call body parts what they are so I figured now was a good a time as ever to talk about body parts.
The mom pushes it out of her vagina. Remember, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. Can big brother have a baby?
Both kids: No!
Little sister: Is there a baby in my belly?
Me: No. When you are an adult you can have a baby in your belly. (Searching for the right words again.) When you are married and are an adult you can have a baby in your belly.
Little sister: Do you have a baby in your belly?
Me: No… I don’t.
Little sister: Why not?
Me: Some girls choose to have a baby in their belly – like our friend Ms. So&so. And some girls choose to have special rooms in their house so that special children that need a safe place and a loving home can live with them. Daddy and I chose to have special rooms in our house to care for children that need a safe and loving home. Daddy and I have been praying for you two for a long time and we are so glad to have you in our house.