3 things that keep me up at night

Bio family concerns
I wonder how bio mom and dad must feel to know their children may not return to their arms.  Sometimes I am angry at their decisions.  Sometimes I just want to jump in and help them make better decisions in the future.   Sometimes I ponder if we adopt what communication with the bio family would look like.  And then I remember that they haven’t made any attempt to contact the children beyond our once or twice a month three hour visits.

Safety
During the first month the children were in our home, my husband and my dad and I made a game plan for “what if the bio family were to knock on our front door?”  Our answer became not answering the door and calling the police.  Another fear that bubbles every now and then is “what if the bio family doesn’t return the children after a family visit?”

Screams
Little sister initially had night terrors… nearly every night.  When asked, the bio family said she had always had them. After weeks of these cries that ripped at our hearts, my husband and I tried to be proactive to bedtime thoughts by singing a made up song at bedtime with the lyrics, “When you go to bed with a smile on your face… you wake up happy with a smile on your face.” These screams in the middle of the night didn’t seem to wake her. Then a few months later the screams lessened and then a few weeks later she started having bad dreams and crying in the middle of the night. I would go hold her or rub her head and ask what she was dreaming about. The answers have varied from things people she previously lived with did to her to this past weekend having a bad dream about getting a flu shot. We agreed next time she gets any kind of vaccine – which won’t be this year – she can have ice cream afterwards. Which little sister added… “I want to eat it from the Popeye cup. I really like Popeye.”

Published 12/14/2014