another bittersweet milestone.

My life partner is across the state tonight.  He just arrived at our friends’ house.  He’ll get a a little sleep and then make the rest of the trek in the morning to be at big brother and little sister’s permanency hearing.  (I have a work project that leaves me in town until the end of next week, so this heavy task is on my hubby’s shoulders.)

It is likely tomorrow that he will see first dad in person for the first time.  My husband will sit on a bench outside the courtroom collecting his thoughts, shuffling photos he packed to show the precious faces of the children we love, and prepping for his remarks about the significant gains the kiddos’ have made in the past 10 months.  My husband will know immediately who first dad is as we have seen pictures.  First dad won’t have any idea my husband is the foster dad unless someone (like the social worker or first mom’s family) says something.  Once the courtroom doors open and everyone is called in, it will be apparent.

Please pray mercy extends from my husband’s heart, words, and facial expressions.

Meanwhile… I sit on the opposite side of the state awaiting the result of first mom’s hearing that was held this morning.  It is expected today she was told about a new multiple year prison sentence.  She will not be able to say goodbye to two children she gave birth to when adoption happens.  She will be offered the chance to write them a goodbye letter and can elect or deny the task.

My heart breaks.  My heart is heavy with brokenness.  Cycles rooted in negative things are ugly.  None of this is big brother or little sister’s fault.

Healing is coming.

Cycles will be broken.

A refreshing thought filled my heart today… a year from now big brother and little sister will be adopted and this part of the journey will be behind us.

Until then, I will boast in Jesus Christ.  His death and resurrection.

Published 2/26/2015