the lifetime impact of tomorrow’s decision explained

When I started this blog, I made a commitment to myself to share our story as out loud as we could while protecting identities and by protecting what the children might read down the road.  In light of tomorrow’s meeting, I feel like I should share with you how what happens tomorrow impacts our hearts and home.

What is the team deciding? 

A group of lawyers and the Children’s Division (CD) is deciding if there is enough evidence to terminate the parental rights of both biological parents.  We have been told for months there is already enough evidence on bio mom.  Because bio dad has been in prison since the kiddos returned into care in April the team couldn’t decide on bio dad until he was released.  He got out at the end of November.

The team can either decide:

(A) There is enough evidence on bio dad to proceed the process of terminating parental rights.

In which case, both bio parents will be furnished papers to appear in court, a 2-day trail will be scheduled for spring/summer 2015, all evidence will be presented, likely rights will be terminated, and 45 days later we legally adopt the children.

(B) There is not enough evidence against bio dad.

Brace yourself before you keep reading.  If this happens, the team will change the goal on the case to reunification and the children and bio dad will start having visits and the children will eventually move in with him.  We’ve known of this possibility for months and have been thinking long and hard through this possibility.  When my husband and I began the foster care journey our hearts have always been to adopt.  With that said, we feel like being on the opposite side of the state and being asked to shift our hearts from wanting to adopt the children to supporting the children to be with their bio dad is beyond what we can take on.  If this is what the team decides we will be in tears for days, in a lot of pain, and in our love for the children we will be asking for the kiddos to be moved to a different foster home that is geographically closer to bio dad.  I.  Hate.  Thinking.  About. This.  Option.

You might be wondering how the heck we got into the middle of this.  The children were placed in our care under a term called “legal risk”.  This means at the time it was looking likely that the children would need an adoptive home but the legal paperwork had not yet been processed.

Please pray Option A is what happens tomorrow.

Published 12/21/2014