Site icon The Forgotten Adoption Option


These raw posts are my 18-month journey of adopting a sibling pair through the U.S. foster care system.

My hope is that reading a glimpse of my family’s journey will inspire others to pursue foster care adoption.


Please pray for Monday

Since the kiddos came into our care in May we have been anticipating a meeting that is happening on Monday.  This meeting can begin the process of legal permanency for the children in a forever adoptive home (with us). Please join us in praying specifically for: safety for big brother and little sister evidence unityContinue reading “Please pray for Monday”

How babies are born

In the past week, we started reading a kids’ devotional at breakfast. Yesterday morning the word was “born”. I hadn’t read beyond the word of the day so I wasn’t sure where this was going.  One of the realities of being a foster mom is I didn’t physically give birth to the children.  This is a sensitiveContinue reading “How babies are born”

Balancing adjustments

Becoming a foster parent means modifying your lifestyle.  Here are some things we’ve started incorporating into our lives in the past 7 months: Home visits A social worker visits within the first 24 hours of placement, then weekly for the first month, then every 2 weeks for the second month, then monthly until the childContinue reading “Balancing adjustments”

lies we filter

Since my husband and I are not present for family visits sometimes finding out details of what big brother and little sister experience and are told is a mystery until they talk about it. Tonight’s bedtime routine… Big brother:  (Points to the picture by his bed of his classmates and tells me the name ofContinue reading “lies we filter”

Expectant Mama Here

This post was written back in January of this year for a friend’s website focused on motherhood.  As 2014 comes to an end, I thought it rather fitting to re-post these thoughts from 12 months ago. Becoming a mama can be a bag of mixed emotions.  Excitement, fear, and everything in between.  Marcy explores theContinue reading “Expectant Mama Here”

the Disney World effect

It was nearly a year ago when my husband and I were first licensed as foster parents. While we waited to be matched we helped provide respite for a few foster families. About Respite Care Respite is temporary (1-10 or so days) overnight care for children who are placed in a foster home.  You canContinue reading “the Disney World effect”

firsts we’ve celebrated

We weren’t living together for first steps or first words.  So far, the firsts we have celebrated with little sister and big brother include… first time learning what full feels like first time drinking bubble tea first time playing hot potato first time spraying whipped cream by yourself first time learning what marriage is, whyContinue reading “firsts we’ve celebrated”

songs of strength

Over the course of our journey, there have been highs and lows. After the recent delay, I decided to compile a list of the songs that are strengthening our hope. Joy of the Lord – Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson Explode My Soul – Melissa Helser Do Something – Matthew West My God Is SoContinue reading “songs of strength”


I avoid roller coasters.  The feeling of being tossed and turned – fast and upside-down – on a ride by choice is not something I enjoy. Yet, I feel like this process is a figurative roller coaster that I just realized I’m on and I hope that when the ride is over I can takeContinue reading “raw.”

so this Friday…

is the next time the legal team is meeting.  This is the postponed meeting from December. It’s possible the team will either: (A) agree to file paperwork to get a TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing scheduled or (B) yet again grant another extension. If (A): the hearing will likely be 4-6 months down the roadContinue reading “so this Friday…”

We survived. 

In some ways the anxiety of the unknown overpowered reality. In some ways my insides just want this whole process to just be… well… done processing. As a good friend wrote today… “it’s so very hard to watch your children continue to go through unnecessary hurts. You are ready for them to heal and putContinue reading “We survived. “


I was recently invited to share our story with a group of families who were completing their foster care license.  I thought you might enjoy hearing some of the pieces of our story, too. After 5 years of marriage, my husband and I electively chose to expand our family through foster care adoption.  (Brief pause…Continue reading “willing.”

that little piece of paper in my prayer box

MIGHT BE ANSWERED. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (^ that’s me bursting with excitement in my heart!!!) I mentioned back in February that I have this tiny piece of paper in a prayer box that a friend gave me… it reads “big brother and little sister to be adopted by May 2015″. My husband and I learned today that bioContinue reading “that little piece of paper in my prayer box”

a test to be content

I realized this morning that today was likely the day we’d hear any news because when I contacted the kiddos’ social worker on Wednesday she had not been in contact with bio dad yet.  I kept my phone out during lunch just in case the social worker was going to call. Crickets. It was 3:30pmContinue reading “a test to be content”

my attitude explained.

You might have read the recent update and wondered, “Why isn’t Marcy much happier with the outcome?”  You’re so receptive because I do typically exude exclamation. It’s because bio dad requested a May visit so that he could celebrate little sister’s birthday – which is in late May. My interpretation on how this would comeContinue reading “my attitude explained.”

She said yes…

We had a 30-minute call with the team and bio family today and it was brought up that bio dad signed the consent to terminate his parental rights.  The topic was broached with bio mom about her predicament and rights… apparently there is a statute that states that if a parent involuntarily (not by choice)Continue reading “She said yes…”

Diamond in the rough

As we continue to fill out paperwork (at each medical appointment … children in care have a special form that gets to get completed by the medical provider and then I get to send it in – via email – to the social worker… every. single. time. a kiddo is sick or has a wellness/vision/dentalContinue reading “Diamond in the rough”

so I have this penpal…

She is in her 70s and she lives across the state. She and her husband – who both have wonderful unique names – live on a farm.  On the opposite side of the state. [In case you’re super curious… her name is Velda and her husband’s is Garold <— correct spelling, rhymes with Harold) SheContinue reading “so I have this penpal…”

“She signed”

I read these exact words as a text this afternoon and immediately jumped up from my desk with cheerleader style “woo!” arms. I hugged the other women on my team one by one and we celebrated and reviewed the next steps.  What a milestone. (No, I was never a cheerleader but my high school crossContinue reading ““She signed””

3 more Fridays…

This week marked a pretty big and unexpected milestone.  The kids have their adopted first and last name on a printed document!! Pool passes. Okay… so it’s not a legal document, but it is something furnished by another party that has big brother and little sister’s NAMES on them. Pardon me while I do aContinue reading “3 more Fridays…”

I surrender.

This week has been filled with wavering emotions by the hour.  I’m fortunate to have running partners who are helping me process and prepare for this coming weekend.  Likewise, my life partner is riding this out with me arm in arm as are my wonderful co-workers. I’ve had moments of anger thinking about how onContinue reading “I surrender.”

What a ride. 

The topic is meant to describe both today as well as our journey. Today started at 4AM with packing last things and getting the kids up and in the car. And if you’re wondering our best attempts to sleep in the car didn’t work today. Too much excitement about donuts and a sprayground. Once loadedContinue reading “What a ride. “

and so in closing…

This is the final post to blogging about this season of our lives on this site. I now have a new-found appreciation for weekends in town and months where I’m not spending 3/4ths of the month planning for a drive across the state… and carrots to lessen pain and distract. We feel extremely grateful toContinue reading “and so in closing…”

Exit mobile version